


Vault of Cryptids

by Artemis



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Come Eating, Emotional Hurt, Idiots in Love, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Online Gaming, Online Romance, Overstimulation, Panic Attacks, Rimming, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:35:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28938597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis/pseuds/Artemis
Summary: Ryan decides to join a MMORPG and meets a girl named Venfiel that he develops feelings for. When Venfiel gets a job interview at Buzzfeed, she agrees to meet Ryan while she's in LA. However, Ryan's vision of her is significantly different than the real Venfiel that he meets outside of a Starbucks.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej
Comments: 16
Kudos: 68
Collections: The Shyan Shipping Society Stories





	Vault of Cryptids

**Author's Note:**

  * For [goblinfingers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goblinfingers/gifts).



> big shout out to [goblinfingers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/goblinfingers) for giving me the idea to write this and helping me with ideas along the way! and thank you as always to the shyan shipping society discord for always being a great community. i'm so thankful for y'all!!

Ryan had always enjoyed playing RPGs but he often preferred to play JRPGs like Persona or your average open world RPG like Fallout. MMORPGs had never interested him, though, after hearing about a game that was based around folklore creatures, his curiosity had been piqued and he went back and forth about playing it. The thought of playing Vault of Cryptids was a little daunting with it having such a large player base, especially since he would be just starting up four years after the game was originally released. He finally bit the bullet one night after work and bought the game on Steam as well as a recurring monthly subscription to get started. In natural Ryan fashion, he spent close to three hours on character creation alone because he wanted to make sure that he was absolutely satisfied with his character.

He settled on a Half Elf Rogue that he had named Raffinas and seemed to be pretty pleased with his results. His cursor hovered over the button to finalize the character creation for a few minutes as he looked over the screen, checking several times that everything was exactly as he wanted it to be. He clicked the confirmation button and decided that everything was in order, bringing up the loading screen. He went through the tutorial without any issue and found it to be an okay game, but it definitely hadn’t really captivated him. In the guide he looked at, they stated that his best gaming experience would come if he joined a guild so he did just that. Some of the guilds had absolutely insane requirements to join and others were not very friendly to newbies. It took about an hour to scroll endlessly through the list of guilds before he finally decided on one that had 250 players and seemed to be friendly enough from what he could tell in the description.

The guild was called Oracles of Chaos and while it seemed like a pretentious name, it would have to do since it seemed like it was the only group that wouldn’t immediately deny his join request. Just as he was about to continue on with some low level quests, his request had been accepted and he was immediately sent a friend request from a Wood Elf Cleric named Venfiel. She also sent a message along to him that said _‘Hey there, Raffinas! Welcome to Oracles of Chaos! I see you’re a newbie and I would be more than happy to show you around if you wanted’._

Ryan was surprised by the request, especially since he had probably been a member of the guild for about 30 seconds before the message came over. Regardless, he accepted and sent a message back to Venfiel that read, _‘Hi, Venfiel! I would appreciate the help. I’ve never played before and I could use a little guidance’._ A minute or so passed before a party request was sent over to him by Venfiel which he accepted. A direct chat was started by Venfiel asking him what quest was his next objective and patiently helped him along trying to figure out where exactly Ryan needed to look to find the answer.

She led him around to what he needed to do and fought most of the enemies on his behalf to help him at least get a little more leveled up so he could more comfortably fight through his later quests. She would often send him messages about how to best handle certain enemies and what gear and abilities he should choose when leveling up.. It was actually kind of nice having someone guide him along because the guide Ryan was attempting to wrap his head around was a little too much to take in. Within a few hours, he had already leveled up more than he could have on his own, which seemed absolutely insane but Venfiel reassured him quite often that she ran these quests frequently with newbies.

Venfiel [1:31am]: How do you like it so far, Raf?

Raffinas [1:31am]: It’s pretty fun! I didn’t think I would like it though, MMORPGs are a little overwhelming to me.

Raffinas [1:31am]: I very rarely play anything that’s multiplayer lol

Venfiel [1:32am]: Fair enough, multiplayer isn’t everyone’s forte.

Venfiel [1:32am]: I felt the same way before I started playing VoC but my ex-boyfriend at the time insisted that I should try it out.

Venfiel [1:33am]: Well, you can make your assumptions about how much I enjoyed it seeing that I’m max leveled.

Raffinas [1:33am]: I mean it seems like you’re definitely just a casual player.

Raffinas [1:33am]: Like it’s something you might log a few hours into here and there ha ha

Venfiel [1:34am]: You flatter me.

Venfiel [1:34am]: We’ve been playing for awhile, did you want to continue on or do you need to log off?

Venfiel [1:34am]: I’m not sure what timezone you’re in.

Raffinas [1:35am]: I’m down to play a little longer!

Raffinas [1:35am]: I’m on PST so it’s a little after one in the morning but I don’t have to work tomorrow.

Venfiel [1:36am]: You’re a few hours behind me then, I’m on CST.

Venfiel [1:36am]: Well, lead the way, Raf! I’m sure we can manage to get you halfway to raiding by the time you go to bed! 

Venfiel [1:36am]: Then you’ll be running raids with the guild in no time.

Ryan smiled to himself as he started to follow along behind Venfiel to his next destination and continue on his quest to level up. As he got more comfortable with combat, Venfiel stood back to act as his healer when he needed it and only stepped in when Ryan really got himself in a pickle. She would message him every so often to check in, making sure he was still doing okay or if he needed to take a break. She was so incredibly sweet, making the game much less anxiety inducing since Venfiel seemed truly happy to help.

By the time 4am rolled around, Ryan was starting to feel fatigue set in and he was ready to log off. As much as he wanted to continue playing with Venfiel, his contacts felt like they were melting into his eyes.

Raffinas [4:04am]: Alright, I think it’s time for me to log off.

Raffinas [4:04am]: My contacts are so dry that they’re probably permanently attached now. I’m feeling pretty tired.

Venfiel [4:05am]: No problem Raf.

Venfiel [4:05am]: It was great meeting you and I had a lot of fun playing with you!

Venfiel [4:06am]: I’ll be on around 3pm (your time) to run a raid with a few of the other guild members but after that, I’ll be free to help again!

Raffinas [4:06am]: Thanks for all of your help Venfiel. I would probably still be wandering around trying to figure out the first quest.

Raffinas [4:07am]: I’ll talk to you later! Goodnight!

Venfiel [4:07am]: Goodnight, Raf. I’ll talk to you later.

Ryan shut his computer down, immediately heading off to the bathroom to take his contacts out which proved to be a bit of a struggle. While he went through his nightly (well at this point, morning) routine to get himself ready for bed, his mind wandered about what Venfiel might be like in real life. Sure, he had no idea what she looked like or who she was outside of the game, but he wondered if she might be someone he found himself interested in had he met her in real life. Venfiel never got frustrated with him even when he was frustrated with himself because he couldn’t figure out how to use certain abilities or when he completely messed something up despite her rather clear guidance. She never insulted him and patiently waited for him to finish encounters so Ryan could actually understand the mechanics even if she could pretty much end everything just as soon as it started.

He tried to shake the thought from his head as he slipped under the covers to go to sleep. Ryan just chalked up his wandering thoughts to his loneliness since he recently broke up with a long term girlfriend just a few months ago. Though, as he felt himself drifting off to sleep, he couldn’t get the image of a petite woman with long dark brown hair flowing behind her that was wearing a beautiful blue sundress, smiling back at him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When Ryan logged on that afternoon, it was a little after 3pm so he decided to hang out around the guild to check things out since Venfiel told him before she would be doing a raid at that time.

Venfiel [3:09pm]: Hey, Raf! We just started up the raid but I should be done in about an hour.

Venfiel [3:09pm]: I think Zeisun is back at the guild if you wanted to run some stuff with him. He’s really nice and I’m sure he would help out.

Raffinas [3:10pm]: No hurry, I was just going to check out the guild for a little bit and then I was going to attempt some stuff by myself.

Raffinas [3:10pm]: Plus I had a lot of fun playing with you last night; I’m not sure I’m ready to play with the other members.

Venfiel [3:10pm]: That’s so sweet of you :)

Venfiel [3:11pm]: I enjoy playing with you as well!

It took a minute to realize that he was smiling like a goof just from the brief message from the cleric. Ryan reminded himself that he was just lonely so any brief interaction of kindness was going to make him feel happy. He busied himself with a new quest and found himself struggling quite a bit running it by himself, not necessarily from a lack of guidance, but because he didn’t have a cleric there to heal him when he needed it most. There were several times he narrowly escaped death and just as he was about to finish off the last enemy, he was ambushed by a group of player killers that decimated the rest of his health and he was sent back to the Oracles of Chaos guild.

Ryan growled in frustration and got up to walk away for a minute so he could cool down. He was just a minute or so away of completing the quest on his own and those assholes just had to show up and kill him, taking the vast majority of the gp along with a few valuable items that also dropped as a result. He so badly wanted to show Venfiel that he was capable of handling a quest by himself, hoping that maybe she would be proud of him. After a little while, he returned to his computer and saw that there was a party invite sitting idle on his screen from Venfiel along with a few messages.

Venfiel [4:47pm]: Sorry, that took a little longer than expected.

Venfiel [4:47pm]: We nearly had a party wipe and it took a while for me to heal everyone up for the final boss.

Venfiel [4:47pm]: How did your quest go?

Raffinas [4:55pm]: I got pretty far but some assholes ambushed me and killed me.

Raffinas [4:55pm]: I lost everything you helped me acquire last night.

Venfiel [4:57pm]: I see that the PK community is still going strong, sorry about that, Raf.

Venfiel [4:57pm]: I’m still proud of you for going out on your own! I’ll send you some stuff to get you back on track and then we can go do some quests together :)

Before Ryan even realized it, it was half past midnight and he already leveled up enough to join Venfiel on raids. He had spent the last seven hours doing as many quests as possible with Venfiel and managed to complete the daily quest right before midnight so they could immediately start the new one shortly after since it was a new day. Ryan found that it was so easy to talk to Venfiel and she was actually really funny once they started to get to know each other a little better.

He learned that she lived in a suburb outside of Chicago, not living too far from where she grew up but she really wanted to move out to LA to find an editing job there. She was working for a company that made textbook educational videos which was incredibly boring, however, there weren’t many editing jobs out in the Midwest, especially ones that were actually in entertainment. Ryan found out that she had an affinity for popcorn and tea, that she enjoyed indie music (outing herself a so-called “dork” in response), and even though she thoroughly enjoyed playing VoC, she didn’t believe in cryptids or anything supernatural for that matter.

Venfiel teased Ryan endlessly for believing in ghosts and thinking that cryptids could actually be very real even if there was no evidence to back up any of those beliefs. They shared similar aspirations and actually shared similar jobs which made Ryan wonder if some sort of divine intervention happened to bring the two together. It seemed almost too good to be true to play some four year old game only to meet a girl that was so similar to him, yet different in so many other ways. Ryan half joked that if Venfiel ever wanted to make the move to LA that she should come see him and felt butterflies creep up in his stomach when she responded that she would love to come visit so she could have a tour guide for the city. It was only the second time he ever got to play with Venfiel but he wished that their circumstances were different since she lived so far away. She was definitely someone he could see himself dating and even if she didn’t feel the same way, he would like to still be friends with her.

When Ryan finally checked the time on his phone, he was surprised to see that it was already 6:00 am, making it 8:00 am her time. It was crazy how fast the time went by playing a game that he didn’t look forward to playing due to it being multiplayer, yet that was the part he loved the most.

Raffinas [6:33am]: Why didn’t you tell me what time it was? You have to be exhausted!

Venfie [6:33am]: Time is a social construct, Raf.

Venfiel [6:33am]: Besides, I’m only feeling mildly tired. It’s been nice talking to you.

Venfiel [6:34am]: I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed playing with a newbie as much as I have with you.

Raffinas [6:34am]: I enjoy playing with you too :)

Raffinas [6:34am]: I’m feeling a little more than “mildly tired” so I’m going to log off. You should think about doing the same!

Venfiel [6:35am]: I’ll consider it but I can’t make any promises ;)

Venfiel [6:35am]: I probably won’t be on later so I can try to fix my fucked up sleep schedule.

Venfiel [6:36am]: But you’re welcome to send me a message whenever you’re on, I log on every once in a while during the week so I’ll try to hop on but other members can help out as well.

Raffinas [6:37am]: Sounds good, I’ll talk to you later, Venfiel! <3

Ryan exited out of the game and did his ritual of turning off his pc and monitors before he stumbled off to the bathroom to get himself ready to go to bed. He couldn’t help but laugh at his reflection in the mirror because it was definitely a sight to behold; dark circles hiding under dark frames, his hair a messy nest, all tied together with a coffee stain on the front of his shirt. He was thankful that no webcams were involved with MMORPGs and everything happened over the in-game chat because Venfiel might see him in a very different light.

As his head hit the pillow, Ryan almost immediately passed out and he spent a large portion of his sleep dreaming about what life might be like if he ever got the chance to meet Venfiel. It was filled with dates at haunted houses, figuring out escape rooms together, and doing fun little things around LA that were hidden far from the sight of any tourists.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Over the next few months, Ryan found himself logging on to VoC almost everyday in hopes of logging on at the same time as Venfiel. She would occasionally make an appearance on Wednesdays but she was always on Friday and Saturday nights which made for a perfect weekend for Ryan. While she was the main reason he continued logging on, Ryan would every once in a while get a party request from a fellow guild member and he would accept out of politeness. Playing the game with the other guild members was okay, but he didn’t go out of his way to stick around too long at the guild.

Venfiel would always send an invite for raids to Ryan and was especially excited for the new raid that was coming out called South of Denton, an homage to Goatman. She made sure to save a spot for Ryan on the team, anxiously waiting with him at the guild for the team to assemble so they could run it right when it launched. There were a few moments when Ryan would get lost on a puzzle or couldn’t find where he was supposed to go, yet Venfiel always came back to find him and lead him along. A few of the members joked that Venfiel had to go back to get her boyfriend because he was lost once again. She never made any attempt to correct the other team members which caused Ryan to blush, thankful that he was hidden behind his avatar.

Raffinas [12:41am]: Sorry if I’m holding you guys back, some of those jumps are really hard to make.

Venfiel [12:41am]: Don’t worry about it, they’re just really excited to see what the raid’s all about.

Venfiel [12:42am]: I promise I won’t leave you behind, little guy.

Raffinas [12:42am]: … I’m 5’10”.

Raffinas [12:43am]: You have to be a sasquatch if you think I’m little.

Venfiel [12:44am]: No comment on that, Raf.

Ryan continued following closely behind the cleric as they made their way through a maze to finally reunite with the rest of the team. The rest of the raid went off without a hitch and the final boss, Goatman, was an amazing battle even though the team was one hit away from a total party wipe. Due to Venfiel’s absolute badassery in the boss fight, she claimed the Old Alton Bridge was hers and announced she was dancing on it disrespectfully.

Venfiel [3:04am]: This bridge is mine now Goatman!

Venfiel [3:04am]: You hear that Goatman? I own this bridge!

Zeisun [3:04am]: LMAO

Fozhug [3:04am]: lol ven you’re killing me

Venfiel [3:05am]: That’s right, me and Raffinas own this bridge!

Raffinas [3:05am]: Whoa, hey! Don’t loop me into this shit!

Venfiel [3:05am]: Goatman, they’re going to put my name in graffiti!

Venfiel [3:05am]: Children will come here and tell tales of me!

Nephcius [3:05am]: you tell em, ven!

Zeisun [3:06am]: You’re something else, Ven. Glad you pulled Raf into this, maybe y’all should get married on the bridge lmao

Zeisun [3:06am]: As a symbol of your loveeee

Fozhug [3:06am]: nothing more romantic than getting married on a demonic bridge

Venfiel [3:06am]: Goatman doesn’t scare me but Raf might feel differently about that since he thinks Goatman exists in real life.

Raffinas [3:07am]: I’ve seen the evidence! Goatman is most definitely real!

There was quite a bit more joking and teasing before the team returned back to the guild and settled in to wait for some of the other guild members to return so they could talk about how the raid went for everyone. Considering it took them three hours to complete (which some of that time may have been spent trying to get Ryan on the right path), it was about another hour until the next team returned to the guild.

They all chatted excitedly about the best parts, going back and forth about details that went unnoticed by one team, what everyone got as rewards, and how much they all wanted to go back and do the raid again. The chat was moving pretty fast for Ryan to keep up, even if there were only twelve or so members talking amongst themselves. Ryan would chime in every so often, dropping in some lore regarding the cryptids they encountered, noting some inaccuracies along the way. For the most part though, he just read through the chat logs, always making sure to fully read what Venfiel had to add to the conversation.

Everyone quieted down after about twenty minutes of rapidfire conversion and some logged off to go to bed while others got a team together to run the raid again. Venfiel asked if Ryan wanted to run it again because she was going to sit it out but would join him if it was something he wanted to do. Ryan agreed that he also wanted to pass so they just hung out at the guild with a few other members that were doing some inventory management.

Venfiel [3:31am]: Thanks for joining the raid tonight, Raf.

Venfiel [3:31am]: That was a lot of fun!

Raffinas [3:31am]: Yeah it was great, even if Goatman terrifies me.

Venfiel [3:32am]: I’ll make sure to protect you from him if we both ever happen to be in Texas at the same time.

Venfiel [3:32am]: Though, I may have to defend you from the chupacabras since I’ll be flying out to LA next week for an interview.

Raffinas [3:32am]: What?! That’s awesome, Ven! I’m so happy for you! Where are you interviewing at if you don’t mind me asking?

Venfiel [3:33am]: I’m interviewing at Buzzfeed. I think it might be a step in the right direction!

Raffinas [3:33am]: Nice! I’ve wanted to try interviewing there before but I’ve been too nervous to actually submit my application.

Raffinas [3:33am]: The Buzzfeed office is only about 20 minutes away from my apartment.

Venfiel [3:34am]: You miss all the chances you don’t take, Raf.

Venfiel [3:34am]: Shoot your shot!

Ryan hesitated to send his next message. He knew that Venfiel had said that in reference to him applying for a job in the field he actually wanted to work in but somehow meeting her was higher on that list.

Raffinas [3:39am]: First I’d like to take a shot at meeting you next week.

Venfiel [3:40am]: I’m sure that could be arranged.

Venfiel [3:41am]: Send me your number and I’ll let you know when I get there. We can get dinner or some coffee depending on what time my flight lands :)

Raffinas [3:41am]: I’d like that <3

Raffinas [3:41am]: I can’t wait to finally meet you in person, I’ve thought about it a lot.

Venfiel [3:42am]: Oh?

Venfiel [3:42am]: I have to admit, I’ve thought about meeting you a lot as well.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ryan anxiously sat outside of a Starbucks that was just down the block from his apartment, his leg bouncing up and down in a weak attempt to expend his extra energy that was built up in anticipation of meeting Venfiel. She hadn’t given him any indication of what she looked like or even what her real name was. They both agreed that Ryan would wait outside of the Starbucks about a mile away from her hotel and she would meet him there. He described what he was wearing in a quick text earlier that morning; having dressed in a Laker’s t-shirt and a pair of black skinny jeans that were ripped at the knees. He was constantly looking around, wondering if the next woman to approach him would be the one he was looking for. People came and went, none stopping to actually introduce themselves to Ryan which made his anxiety creep up even further in his chest. 

“Raffinas?”

His body completely froze when he heard his character’s name spoken because whoever spoke it had a suspiciously masculine voice and frankly, Ryan was afraid to turn his head and look in the direction that it came from. When he turned to look at the person, an absolute giant of a man with long hair that fell just below his ears and a neatly trimmed beard was towering over him. Ryan couldn’t hide the look of shock that came across his face as he looked the man up and down. Maybe Venfiel had a boyfriend that she never mentioned and the guy was here to kick his ass for flirting incessantly with the woman. 

“What the fuck?” Ryan asked in disbelief.

The man was taken aback by Ryan’s reaction and held his hands up defensively. “Uhh, hi?” he responded in an unsure voice.

“Is this some sort of joke? Who put you up to this? Where is Venfiel?” Ryan questioned as he stood up from his seat and pressed a finger into the taller man’s chest.

“Raf, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I can assure you that I’m Venfiel, because only she would know that she owns Goatman’s bridge along with you.”

Ryan breathed out a heavy sigh and ran his fingers through his hair, realizing how much he totally and completely fucked up. He had fallen in love with a man without even realizing it and he was absolutely mortified to come to that realization in front of a very public Starbucks storefront. “What… why didn’t you tell me you were a dude? For the past eight months I thought you were some chick from Chicago that I was falling in love with!” Ryan yelled, catching the attention of a few passerby that gave him a confused look.

“Whoa, hey, no need to raise your voice. I honestly didn’t know that you didn’t know I was a guy, I swear. I assumed you knew since some of my friends called me by my real name, Shane,” he said, placing a hand on Ryan’s shoulder in an attempt to calm him down.

The touch just angered Ryan even more and he shoved the man’s hand away. “Don’t put this on me; you knew _exactly_ what you were doing. You led me on and you fucking know it. You had plenty of opportunities to say something yet you just decided to show up here and fuck with me,” Ryan spat, curling his fingers into fists at his sides.

“Raf-”

“It’s Ryan. And while Raffinas may have considered you a friend, I certainly don’t,” Ryan said coldly and turned to walk away. “I’m sure you’ll fit right in while you’re here in LA. This city is full of nothing but people pretending to be someone they’re not.”

With that, Ryan walked away despite constant protests from Shane, even as he heard his name echoing behind him. He quickened his pace and soon found himself sprinting down the sidewalk of Santa Monica Boulevard, narrowly avoiding other pedestrians who were leisurely walking. Tears started forming at the edges of his eyes, causing him to duck down an alley where he felt the onset of a panic attack. His chest started to tighten, he felt like he was starting to suffocate because he couldn’t breathe, the tears started falling, and Ryan collapsed to the ground with his face in his hands. How could have he been so stupid? Had there really been that many signs that he overlooked?

Ryan let himself fall apart because he was feeling so many overwhelming emotions that they were too difficult to process; betrayal, hurt, anger, sadness, frustration, and finally shame. Betrayal because Shane hadn’t been clearer about his true identity. Hurt because the vision of who he was meeting was far from reality. Sadness because he got his hopes up to meet an amazing girl who didn’t exist. Frustration from ever deciding to play some stupid online game. Shame for how he acted when all Shane wanted to do was have a civil conversation with him.

It took a long while for Ryan to pull himself together as much as he could, he was just out of sight of the busy street but it didn’t make him feel any less vulnerable about having a panic attack so close to the public eye. Eventually he pulled himself together enough to exit the alley and walk home, even if it was a bit painful to be drowning in his own thoughts.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A few days had passed since Ryan met Shane and all he could do was mull over how their meeting went. Ryan wasn’t proud of the way he reacted and he really felt bad about having such a visceral reaction towards the other man when he realized he had been mistaken about his identity. He wondered to himself how Shane’s interview went and truly hoped that it went well but he couldn’t bring himself to actually ask. He was pretty sure that Shane would never want to speak to him again after the way he lashed out for no other reason than him not being a woman.

Letting out a sigh, Ryan pulled out his phone and spent nearly an hour typing out several messages only to quickly delete them, starting over from the beginning each time. It was hard to come to terms with the fact that his vision of Venfiel was vastly different from the real person behind the character. However, he couldn’t deny that despite his misconception of his friend’s gender, he still felt like he wanted to get to know Shane better. There was an undeniable connection between them that Ryan had never felt with anyone else before.

Ryan (1:49pm): Shane, I know that I’m probably the last person that you ever want to talk to and I completely understand. I acted like a total asshole the other day and I wanted to apologize for my behavior. I was out of line and for that, I’m sorry. I’m sure that you are a great guy and it’s my fault for not being able to see that because I was so blinded by who I thought you were, not who you actually are. I know you’re headed back to Chicago tomorrow but I would really like to apologize in person before you go. I can’t take back the words I said or how I made you feel but please, let me apologize in person.

Ryan (1:51pm): I would much rather have this conversation in private if you wanted to come over to my apartment.

As the hours passed with no response from Shane, Ryan felt like he wanted to do nothing but curl up in his bed and cry. Shane had no obligation to agree to meet with him or forgive him for what happened. Ryan battled with himself because he had let his emotions blind him momentarily for something that was such a minute detail that shouldn’t have mattered; he still had feelings for Shane even if he never imagined himself being attracted to another man.

When his phone vibrated next to him, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he read there was a text message from Shane waiting to be read. He did a short deep breathing exercise to help him calm his nerves because whatever the text said would make or break any sort of relationship they ever had or never would have.

Shane (5:12pm): I’ve given this some thought and it wasn’t an easy decision to make. The way you acted was not okay and while I’m agreeing to meet you, I don’t trust you enough to meet somewhere private.

Shane (5:14pm): If you would still like to meet up, I’m staying at the Hilton on Highland Ave and we can meet at the bar downstairs. There will be enough people there that I would feel comfortable enough yet I can make the decision to walk away if it gets to be too much. I won’t tolerate being belittled by you.

Ryan (5:20pm): That’s fair. I’ll meet you there at 7 and promise I will be on my best behavior from now on.

Ryan (5:21pm): Thank you, Shane.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When Ryan arrived at the Hilton, it seemed a bit more upscale than somewhere he imagined Shane would be staying at. It wasn’t hard to locate the bar and he immediately spotted Shane leaning against the bar with a drink in his hand as he chatted with the bartender. His heart fluttered when he spotted Shane; he hadn’t really taken the time to truly look at the other man when they first met but Ryan had to admit he was actually _really_ attractive. His legs seemed to go on for days, his face was handsome with the way his beard framed his jaw, and something about his longer hair really did it for Ryan. 

He mustered up enough courage to cross the bar and without even thinking, he wrapped his arms around the taller man to hug him. Shane raised his eyebrows in surprise, setting his drink down on the bar to hold his hands up, unsure if he should hug Ryan back in return. Ryan pulled away, face slightly flushed, and turned to the bartender to order a beer on tap. He handed over his debit card and asked for both of their drinks to be put on his tab before taking a long sip of the amber liquid.

“Shane, I’m truly sorry for the way I acted the other day. I had this vision of who you were in my head and when you didn’t match it, my emotions got the best of me,” Ryan said in a small voice, not able to bring his eyes up to look at the other man.

Shane didn’t say anything for a minute, downing the rest of his drink in the meantime. “I had a vision of you too, Ryan. Except when I saw you, you took my breath away because you were better than whatever I could have imagined. Your reaction was not what I was anticipating though.”

Ryan looked up to see Shane frowning down at him and he quickly averted his gaze, the look of disapproval on his face was loud and clear. “I really am sorry. I know it’s not an excuse, but I just panicked. I found myself so drawn to you since we first met; I knew I wanted more than what we had online. I’ve never been with another man and I certainly never envisioned me falling for a guy online. There’s been enough time that passed for me to give this some thought and I realized that I still feel a connection with you even if you’re not a 5’4” brunette.”

He scoffed in response and took a sip of his drink. “No, I’m certainly not. I’m a foot taller than that and very much not a woman,” Shane replied, running the back of his hand along Ryan’s jaw. “But you… you’re better than anything my mind could ever conjure up.”

Shivering at the touch, Ryan closed his eyes and let out a shaky sigh. Before he could lean into the touch, Shane’s hand dropped back down against his side. “Will you give me another chance to make it up to you?” Ryan asked as he took Shane’s hand in his own. “I-I don’t know what I would do if you walked out of my life.”

There was another long pause of silence from Shane, his mouth still turned down in a frown. “Well that’s a consequence you have to face seeing that I leave for Schaumburg tomorrow. I can make the decision to get on that plane and never come back to LA. I can make the decision to block your number and I’ll disappear from your life without a trace.”

Ryan felt tears starting to well up in his eyes and he quickly tried to blink them away. He couldn’t hold back when he felt Shane run his thumb across his cheek to wipe away a stray tear that managed to slip by. There was no denying that he totally fucked things up but he had been hopeful about mending their relationship when Shane agreed to see him again.

“I could do all of those things, Ryan... But I won’t.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Somehow after a few drinks, Ryan found himself lying naked on a hotel bed with his clothes thrown somewhere across the room. He moaned softly as Shane hovered over him and kissed his neck. He was sure that there would be reminders of what happened littered across his tan skin when he looked in the mirror tomorrow. It was an odd sensation of feeling aroused by the taller man attacking his neck paired with the feeling of his beard scratching against the sensitive skin.

Shane broke away for a second to spit in his palm to reach down and slowly start stroking Ryan’s erection that was straining against his stomach. “You have no idea the things I want to do to you, Ryan. They won’t all happen tonight, but I can promise you that I have plans to have you beg for it,” Shane said lowly next to Ryan’s ear. Ryan gasped as the thought and god, did he hope that Shane was a man that followed through with his promises.

Suddenly Shane was pulling away from Ryan and walking off to rummage through his suitcase in search for something. Ryan whined at the loss of Shane’s hand but was quick to replace it with his own. When Shane returned with a small bottle of lube, Ryan’s eyes widened. He swallowed hard because he wasn’t exactly sure what the other man had planned and Ryan was a little nervous to be on the receiving end if it went that far. The thought of Shane fucking him was definitely intruiging, but there was a still a feeling of hesitation because Ryan had never done that or even touched himself like that.

Shane could see how Ryan froze when he flipped open the cap of the lube so he closed it back up and ran his hands over Ryan’s thighs soothingly. “It’s okay to be nervous. I know I was my first time but if it gets to be too overwhelming, say the words and I’ll stop.”

Ryan didn’t respond with anything other than an enthusiastic nod to which Shane just chuckled. He let his legs fall open when Shane slicked up his index and middle fingers, reaching them down to tease at Ryan’s hole. It felt odd to be touched there and Ryan shot a hand out to grip Shane’s bicep when he inserted his middle finger. By no means did it hurt but it didn’t exactly feel pleasurable either.

Shane gave him some time to get used to the feeling and then pushed his index finger in with a little bit of resistance. He praised Ryan for doing so well and ran his fingers through Ryan’s hair to encourage him along. “You’re doing so well, baby. Just a little bit more and we’ll move on,” Shane said with a look of concentration on his face.

When he found Ryan’s prostate, he was rewarded with a loud moan that echoed through the hotel room. He pulled his fingers out to reapply more lube to make sure that Ryan remained comfortable and went back in with three fingers, causing Ryan to buck his hips and gasp. Ryan could barely form any sentences but Shane was able to make out that he was close to coming and he once again removed his fingers and tightly gripped the base of Ryan’s cock.

“That won’t do, you’re going to come when I tell you to and not a second before. I think that’s enough of a payback for you acting like dick the other day,” Shane said nonchalantly, pouring lube into his palm to slick up his own cock. “Bring your knees up and put your legs over my shoulders.”

Ryan did as he was told and winced when he felt Shane press the head of his cock against his hole. He cursed when he felt Shane start to push in because it was almost too overwhelming for him. He had gotten used to the feeling of Shane’s fingers but his dick was something else entirely, feeling like he was being ripped apart from the inside. Shane was sure to go slow, reaching a hand up to rub Ryan’s calf to try to give him a gentler touch to distract him.

After a painstakingly long time, Shane was fully inside of Ryan and both men were panting heavily in response. For Shane, Ryan was almost too tight and for Ryan, Shane was almost too big. Ryan eventually managed to adjust to the feeling of being so full and mumbled some sort of confirmation that Shane could start moving.

Shane started out with shallow thrusts to let Ryan get used to the feeling but when he nearly pulled all the way out and slammed back into Ryan, the younger man moaned loudly. Shane’s name was like a prayer on Ryan’s lips that he kept chanting. He was confused as to how it could go from being painful to pleasurable in the span of a few minutes but it was a fleeting thought when Shane found his prostate once again, causing his brain to short circuit.

“God you feel so fucking good, Ryan. I don’t think I’m going to last long if you keep sounding like that,” Shane said breathlessly, gripping on to Ryan’s calves to push them closer to the other man’s chest to go even deeper.

Ryan let out a sob as he took himself in his hand and started stroking his cock in time with Shane’s thrusts. He knew he was so close but the words Shane said earlier were echoing through his mind.

_‘That won’t do, you’re going to come when I tell you to and not a second before.’_

“Shane, oh god, Shane I-I’m so close. Please, I-I need I-” Ryan whined, closing his eyes tight in an effort to prolong the feeling he was chasing.

He swatted away Ryan’s hand and gripped him tightly to stave off his orgasm. “I didn’t tell you that you could come so no, you don’t get to yet,” Shane growled and took Ryan’s chin in his hand. “Keep your eyes open and look at me.”

Reluctantly opening his eyes, Ryan felt his face start to heat up out of embarrassment because looking into Shane’s eyes was almost too intimate. His pupils were blown with desire and looked like he wanted to absolutely ravage Ryan. He could immediately tell when Shane was getting close because his eyes started to glaze over and his rhythm started to falter. His breathing became uneven, speeding up when he felt himself just about to tip over the edge.

Shane started stroking Ryan and tilted his head down to kiss the younger man, gasping softly against his mouth. He pulled back just a few centimeters and whispered, “Come for me, Ryan.”

They moaned in unison, Ryan spilling down Shane’s fist at the same time as Shane’s hips stilled and he came inside of Ryan. The silence was deafening in the room save for their heavy breathing, soon broken by Ryan pouting at the loss when Shane pulled out of him. He shuddered when Shane brought his hand up to his mouth to lick up Ryan’s come, all while still staring right into his eyes.

Shane licked his lips after he cleaned up his hand and then sunk down to hold the back of Ryan’s thighs, admiring the well fucked hole in front of him with come dripping out. He started low and licked a long stripe up Ryan’s hole, causing Ryan to shout from the sensitivity. Using his thumbs to open up Ryan further, he went back in and slipped his tongue past the rim to continue licking up the come still inside of him. His beard was rough against the insides of his thighs and was sure they would be red long after Shane was back in Illinois.

“S-Shane, ah! I-It’s t-too much! I-I can’t come again!”

He stopped and moved back up to be face to face with Ryan. “You can and _will_ come again.”

Ryan was writhing against the sheets when Shane went back to basically fucking him open all over again with his tongue. It definitely wasn’t something that he would have put up there in his list of kinks but he was undeniably turned on as his cock started to become erect. The feeling of Shane’s tongue inside of him, licking up his own come, was so filthy but so goddamn hot. Ryan took his dick in his hand and it only took a few strokes for him to start coming across his stomach.

Shane sat up and couldn’t help but laugh at how debauched Ryan looked and he imagined that he probably looked exactly the same. “I wasn’t sure how you would feel about that last part but would I be right in assuming that you enjoyed it?” Shane asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah… yeah you could make that assumption,” Ryan replied, nudging Shane’s side with his leg playfully. “That was… wow that was really good.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next day when Ryan arrived at the airport with Shane, they walked into the building, hand in hand. Ryan’s heart was so full of happiness yet there was a tinge of sadness that floated around. Meeting Shane in real life hadn’t exactly gone as planned but he was thankful they were able to move past that and reconnect. The hardest part of letting Shane go back to Schaumburg wasn’t because he was worried he would never see the man again, it was because he didn’t know when they would see each other again.

When they reached the security checkpoint, Shane dropped his backpack on the ground and pulled Ryan in to hug him. They gripped each other tightly, afraid that the other would disappear if they let go, which wasn’t entirely untrue. Shane pulled back to hold Ryan’s face in his hands and leaned down to kiss him softly. Ryan kissed Shane like it was the last time they would ever see each other again but didn’t break away until someone cleared their throat behind them. Ryan pulled away in response and placed a hand on Shane’s chest. “Please don’t be a stranger, Shane.”

“I’m sure I’ll be back someday. If you’re ever near Chicago, don’t you be a stranger either,” Shane said with a small smile. “Goodbye, Ryan.”

His chest tightened when Shane picked up his backpack and entered the security checkpoint to make his way to his terminal. He took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose in hopes of delaying the inevitable moment when he would break down crying. The rollercoaster of emotions in the past week was more than he could handle. Once again, he was left alone with his own thoughts without anyone to comfort him and tell him everything was going to be okay.

People continued brushing past Ryan as the airport got busier and busier but he felt like the bottoms of his shoes were glued to the floor. No matter how hard he tried to leave, he couldn’t bring himself to exit the airport because then reality would truly hit him. Reality would remind him that Shane was nothing more than a memory.

When he finally got the courage to leave the airport and slip inside of his Uber, his phone buzzed in his pocket. He wasn’t sure who it was from and frankly, he was too depressed to care who it was. The message was left unread until Ryan exited the Uber and opened up the app to rate his driver as he walked into his apartment.

Shane (12:19pm): I got the job at Buzzfeed. They want me to move out to LA next month.


End file.
